101 Lies Men Tell Women -- And Why Women Believe Them

As a currently, and very happily, married woman, I found this book quite helpful. Does it have a slant? Well of course it does. Writing a book about the top 101 lies women tell to men would be another whole book, and it's a book I'd like to see if it was written in the same manner. However, this book had a specific, clearly stated purpose, and it held to that purpose. In addition, because of the scope the book covered in depth, it helped me explain what I thought about some of my mate's behaviour in concrete terms, when before I had only fuzzy impressions of why his shutting me out so he could "be responsible" hurt. The author does not hate men, she hates lying in general and the hurt lying causes specifically. Reading through it can help head off serious problems before they start, and ending the relationship is not always the recommended course the author suggests. Many times, honesty about the problem and what is going on is enough, and this book provides good, solid methods for beginning that conversation. And as for the idea that people, men and women alike, don't lie about STD's, ha. I am a pharmacy technician, and I can't tell you how many patients I've had who got an STD from an unfaithful and dishonest lover. There is a gentleman of my acquaintance who is currently dying of AIDS because his lover neglected to mention an HIV positive test for over a year. Even one out of twenty lovers who lie about this is enough to kill you. Don't take the chance.

The book is filled with stories and detailed interpretations of how lying by men to women works. It is not driven by "hate" of men, as "A Reader" suggests, but by the desire to reveal and understand. The men emerge (almost) as much as victims of their lies as the women.

Although I've read this book years ago, I was drawn towards this book, last night, just to review my notes in the margins, because a man whom I've only went out with 3 times, went out of his way to evade answering my questions.Every woman should read this book, more than once, because we are conditioned to choke off the truth, when we are starting to date someone new. We want to be nice, and that's good.But it isn't good if we are nice to someone else, at the expense of our own worthiness.Men are socialized to lie to avoid their fear of women's anger, because it brings up insecurities in many men, who have spent their lives running away from their emotions.Because I read this book several times, and because I have written notes in the margins, I am empowered to choose what I want.For example, if a man say's, "Oh, it wasn't that," he is evading your subject, and his feelings. And here are 4 reasons why:1. He wants his thoughts, feelings, and actions to be inaccessible to you.2. He wants to build upon your good faith and acquiescence.3. He intends to do what he wants to do, without your knowledge.4. He has no desire to be accountable to you.Now, if you turn these reasons around, asking yourself what the long-term affect this would be upon your life, you will notice that you will question your sanity, if you don't confront his dishonesty, and appreciate the persistent rumbling in your gut. You would also leave it up to him to give you permission to be who you are.Many women look the other way, because to directly look at these lies, would also lead to confronting some mis-truths that women are socialized and bound by.But, again, the long term affect is terrible.So, any woman reading this review, please read this book, and choose to do as I do, let go of any man who desperately needs to run away from himself. Your life is too precious to be his dumping ground.

I read this book twice, once in 1995, and in 1997, then recently reviewed all of the notes that I had made, during each reading. I have truly traveled a long distance, in how I see myself, as a woman, as a result of this book. I am breaking free from worrying about getting angry, his reactions to my anger, and what he might or could do. Reading this book, has contributed to my liking myself more, and to my healing my mother/daugther wounds, where I learned to put up with his lies, in the first place. Every man I see, now that I have read this book, becomes someone who I am more apt to use direct eye contact, as I positively talk my spirit into staying the course of what matters to me. I am eternally grateful for such a book.

This book arms and empowers women with important tools for dealing with every kind of male denial. I was impressed with the in-depth nature of this book. It will relieve you to know that your instincts are right about his guilt when a man sounds paranoid, accuses your desire for closeness as an invasion of privacy, and ultimately distances himself from you in the end because he says you don't trust him, etc. etc. And you will be a stronger, more confident, and wiser woman for it.