Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It

We love Dr. Ray and are thankful for this wonderful resource on adoption! I recommend this book to anyone considering growing their family through adoption.

Ray Guarendi, Ph.D. ("Dr. Ray") was in his early thirties and his wife, Randi, in her late twenties when they learned they had a "near zero" chance of conceiving. The couple had already agreed that they wanted a family, and a large one, so they thought about the options. The decision to adopt "took all of about six seconds," writes Dr. Ray, who is today the father of 10 children adopted over a period of 12 years. He is also a psychologist specializing in families and children. Guarendi's goal in writing Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It is to dispel anxieties, misperceptions, and myths about adoption; encourage others to adopt; and provide guidance for adoptive parents. "Maybe some couple will adopt because of something they read here," he writes. "Maybe some child unknown to me will get a mom, dad, family, brothers, sisters, and more." The 10 chapters, formulated in a question-and-answer pattern, cover a wide range of practical issues such as advice worth ignoring, myths and truths, and adoption options and procedures. Many of the questions relate to the Guarendis' adopting so many children. In one section Dr. Ray characterizes as "scary" the calculation that raising a child to age 18 costs $200,000. If his children learned the estimate, he writes, they would feel shortchanged "My seventeen-year-old daughter would probably present me with a balance due bill of $123,000 on her eighteenth birthday... A quarter-million dollars might run out for some families by the time the first child hits fourth grade, while carrying others through two or three kids." As the examples above show, this straightforward, practical book from one with personal experience and professional expertise is a solid resource for anyone who has adopted a child or is thinking about doing so.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this latest book by Dr. Ray. It would be a great book to give to family members if you are considering adoption, after you have read it yourself of course!