A powerful look at the importance of a mother's presence in the first years of life**Featured in The Wall Street Journal, and seen on Good Morning America, Fox & Friends, and CBS New York** In this important and empowering book, veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar explains why a mother's emotional and physical presence in her child's life--especially during the first three years--gives the child a greater chance of growing up emotionally healthy, happy, secure, and resilient. In other words, when it comes to connecting with your baby or toddler, more is more. Compassionate and balanced, and focusing on the emotional health of children and moms alike, this book shows parents how to give their little ones the best chance for developing into healthy and loving adults. Based on more than two decades of clinical work, established psychoanalytic theory, and the most cutting-edge neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, Being There explains: - How to establish emotional connection with a newborn or young child--regardless of whether you're able to work part-time or stay home - How to ease transitions to minimize stress for your baby or toddler - How to select and train quality childcare - What's true and false about widely held beliefs like "I'm not good with babies" and "I'll make up for it when he's older" - How to recognize and combat feelings of postpartum depression or boredom - Why three months of maternity leave is not long enough--and how parents can take control of their choices to provide for their family's emotional needs in the first three years Being a new mom isn't easy. But with support, emotional awareness, and coping skills, it can be the most magical--and essential--work we'll ever do.
I hesitated to order this book because as a mom who works full-time "outside the home", I wasn't interested in adding to my mom guilt. I am glad that I finally ordered it! Although, yes, the author emphasizes the importance of "being there" for your children's first 3 years (soundly based in scientific research, not moralistic ideals), she also recognizes the reality of modern life (families with two dads, families with single moms who must work outside the home, families with a father and mother who both must work outside the home, adoptive families, etc.) and shows how these parents can also be present for their kids in impactful ways. It also helps to explain some behaviors that may be seen in older kids, but avoids sounding judgmental.
I would recommend that moms this book during pregnancy if at all possible, and that they (and any other parental figure) otherwise read it as soon as possible--even if your children are older.
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