Born Only Once, Third Edition

This review is for two books, both of them authored by Conrad Baars. They are "Healing the Unaffirmed - Recognizing Emotional Deprivation Disorder" and "Born only Once". When I accidently found the book "Healing the Unaffirmed" and started reading it, my heart was filled with emotion and joy. After reading many self help books and so so result from counseling, I finally found a book that accurately described my emotional problems and their causes. Then I read "Born only Once". It describes the same issue in a less analytical way. "Healing the Unaffirmed" may requires a little understanding of Psychological concept. Forget about all the self help cheerleading books in the book stores. They never try to deal with the core of the problems. Nearly every month there is a new book that is hailed as "The Best Book Ever Written". Guess who did the critics ? Their fellow authors who writes the same kind of books. To make a little argument, if all these self help books are so good, how come people keep buying them ? Their problem should have been solved after reading a couple of these best books. However these two books by Dr. Conrad are different. They are straight forward. No phrases like "Come on. You can do it.". You really have to understand them and search hard into your heart. It is worth it. If you have friends who have some emotional problems, recommanding these two books is the biggest favor you can offer.

Dr. Baars is excellent in explaning the meaning of being loved and affirmed by another which leads to acceptance of self and acceptance of one another. Jesus asks us to "love one another as he has loved us". Married love mirrors these words as we affirm and love each other. At times we stray from being for one another and get so wrapped up in the goings on of daily living that we lose our way. It is so important to stay focused so that we can be sacraments to one another.I recommend this book to anyone who wants to live a closer and intimate relationship with oneself, a significant other and God.

After years of therapy and self-hatred, I finally found what was missing. This is a great book for those who feel that disconnection from themselves, society, and God. That restless feeling that we try to fill up with material things or illicit relationships. I urge anyone who is having a problem believing that they are worthy of a good life to read this book.

This life-changing book is unlike the other self-help, therapy books out there. This one addresses the need for affirmation in a different sense than the New Age type, feel-good therapies do. Whereas so much therapy today is about affirming ONESELF, this book gets to the heart of what happens when we are not affirmed by OTHERS. No amount of SELF-affirmation will get us to the point of healing. This book also is a good reminder to all of us (especially parents) that we must affirm all others as INHERENTLY valuable human beings, which is how God sees us. Gets straight to the root of so many problems. Seems to simplistic to be true? Try it. Truth is often simple in so many of its elements.

It just about kills me: the most helpful book I've ever encountered in my battle with depression and living a fully Catholic Christian life in freedom is now out of print! It is so simple, deep, and full of truth. I am extremely disappointed that the publisher, Franciscan Herald Press, has dropped it. This book was given to me by my therapist, who uses it with virtually all his clients. Now he sits with one nearly demolished copy, because he's given them all away and can't purchase any more. Our Archbishop, Harry Flynn (Mpls- St. Paul Archdiocese) recently quoted it in an article he wrote for The Catholic Spirit ( a weekly paper available on-line) in regards to the miracle of affirmation.I hope some other publisher will pick this book up, or that the Franciscans will see fit to "modernize" it, perhaps replacing the line drawings with photographs. This is too good to let go!