Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T: 400 Facts about the Baddest Dudes in the History of Ever

As with the original book that Ian Spector released to our grabby, grabby hands, Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T is filled with hilarity and wit. Chuck Norris facts simply don't get old, and you'll find yourself wanting to read just...one...more... before you put it down. Can't go wrong!

It is not you who wants to read the book, it is the book which makes you read it!

When I was 12 I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew I wanted to be bad! It was a full 13 years later that I knew the industry I would go into! It was the industry of being one of the baddest dudes in the history of ever! Now history is a funny thing, and the history of history started a long time ago. So, when I set down this path... I knew it would be a tough one, but with two of the worlds best known baddest dudes, I was in good company. And here we are today, as I write this I know deep down I could never pitty fools at such high frequencies dogs can hear it. But I can only assume reading this book daily will someday help me move cars with my mind!

I could never explain how this book has touched me. But I must try. This Christmas, my car would not start. I turned the key ten, maybe twenty times. Nothing. I went outside and popped the hood. My engine was gone. Instead, there was a box. I opened it. Inside the box, there was a box. Inside this box, another box. I looked around. There was no one. There was a box, inside a box, inside a box - each unmarked. Inside the final box, there was a small map. A cold gust of wind blew by my ear. "Follow," it whispered. I walked three miles to the woods. I walked three miles into the woods. I was led past a small stream. I smelled horses and felt a strange peace. The path ended in a clearing. The wind rushed into my face. "Dig," I heard - or perhaps, I already knew. I knelt and tore at the earth with my hands. It was a cold day. Two hours passed as I worked. I grew tired. Then, I felt a strange smoothness. I cleared away the soil, ripping it from beneath me. I removed a small book. This book. It spoke to me, beautiful words, in a thousand languages I could never have known. And I wept. I read it. I kept it in my jacket. I slept beside it. I ate a few pages. The book - it has changed me. It will condition your hair. It will whiten your teeth. It will get you onto a game show. It will reduce the appearance of wrinkles. It will cure leprosy. It will regrow lost limbs. It will find your lost puppy. It will get you laid. It will watch your fish while you're away. It will post your bail. It will give you the power of invisibility, but only when you wish to be invisible. It will remember your friends' birthdays. It will defend you in court, even when you are guilty. It will buy you flowers. It will hold your love close, but not too close. It will make you whole. and It will never lie to you. Not once. You will know, as I knew, when the book speaks to you. You should probably buy two.

This book is so powerful that I didn't read it, and I still memorized it.