Gabe is a teenage Jehovah's Witness convinced God will kill him at Armageddon for masturbating. But Gabe's not alone: there's Peter, who writes swear words in the margins of his papers; Jihyun, the Korean kid who subsists on Ho Hos and Doritos; and Camille, who follows Gabe around, trying to be his girlfriend. There's also Gabe's mom, who sleeps sixteen hours a day, and his dad, an elder who decides the fate of sinners (like the married couple who confesses to accidentally having anal sex). There's Brother Miller, an elder with a Napoleon complex, who accompanies Gabe from door to door, encouraging him to knock with confidence, and Sister Feeney, who looks forward to the day she can move into a Spanish-style house after its owner dies at the end of the world. Luckily for Gabe, there is Uncle Jeff, who used to tour with Santana and now gives Gabe the only valuable girl advice he ever receives. It's hard when school days are spent dodging questions about your weird religion and weekends mean preaching house to house. Life looks dreary until Gabe falls for Camille's beautiful older sister and begins to see her as the answer to his frustrations.
Everyone knew a 'Gabe' in school and this book made me wish i made out with him. ;-) The characters is this book are so vividly written that you see them in your head...and you'll think twice about the jehovah who comes to your door next time. Gabe rocks and so does this book. Can't wait to read Tony's next book.
Probably the most real fiction I've ever read
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 14 years ago
If you want to understand what it was like growing up a JW, read this book. If you grew up as a JW, definitely read this book!! He doesn't slam the Witnesses -- just presents a picture that tells it all. With humor that makes you laugh outloud and emotion that recalls your very own pain in the journey, it is well written and over way too soon.
Great Read
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 14 years ago
Let me start by saying that I highly recommend this book. In many ways the writer mirrors my adolescent years growing up a JW (except I am female and did not need to look at the "Miles Kimball catalogue"). Despite being a work of fiction, it could truly be a memoir. If one ever wondered what it was like to be the "weird" kid in school because of your religion - and trying so desperately to fit in - this is the book for you. I laughed out loud and my heart ached as I recalled my own memories. Read this book - you will not be disappointed!
HILARIOUS
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 14 years ago
Mr. DuShane has brilliantly coupled growing pains and good old fashioned religious guilt into a bittersweet memoir, punctuated w/ priceless sarcastic humor. Even if you didn't grow up in a Jehovahs Witness-believing home, you will be entertained by the hilarious stories of puberty amidst close living quarters with the parents. Additionally, I think I will give this book to any of my future offspring in lieu of having the sex talk. Excellent read!
Hysterical!
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 14 years ago
The most deviant thing about Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk is the hypothesis that an orderly, structured Christian fellowship can, for a horny teenager, be nearly as dysfunctional as growing up in a crack den. Yes, the book is funny-- but you knew that already, from the title. The ghetto of teenage is done really well here. The Jehovah's Witness culture was new to me. Armageddon as breakfast table fodder. That, set against the new population of pubic hairs on our hero. Read it! The quirky voice reminded me a bit of Vernon God Little. Fun!
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