Just as there are right and wrong reasons to marry, there are good and bad reasons to divorce. Some couples are quick to split because they are unwilling to devote the necessary effort to fixing their relationships or to understanding their partners, while others miss out on personal fulfillment by staying too long in unhealthy marriages. This insightful and practical guide, written by a therapist with nearly a decade of experience counseling those considering divorce, will help you evaluate your marriage to determine whether you should stay or go. Without bias toward or against the option of divorce, Contemplating Divorce includes helpful tools to guide you to the right decision. Use the tests and relationship evaluations to assess your level of fulfillment in your marriage Learn about the five types of needs happy marriages satisfy Find out how to fix 'problem areas' in your relationship Plan for the future, whether you decide to stay or move on This is a much-needed book. The anxiety in making a life-changing decision is sometimes overwhelming. It is of immense help to have a coach like Susan Pease Gadoua -John Bradshaw, best-selling author of Homecoming and Creating Love Better than therapy Pease Gadoua allows the reader who is contemplating any great change to process the pros and cons in the confines of his or her own heart and mind, leaving no chance for those on the fence to skip out on the truth. A must-read for any transition. -Joan Anderson, bestselling author of A Year by the Sea, An Unfinished Marriage, A Walk on the Beach , and The Second Journey Making an appointment to see a divorce lawyer doesn't mean that the person I am advising necessarily needs or wants a divorce. With Pease Gadoua's wise, thorough, and accessible book, Contemplating Divorce , at last there is a resource I can give to confused and unhappy clients who think the marriage may be over but can't decide whether the embers are truly dead or not. -Pauline H. Tesler, author of Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Law An exceptional and outstanding book for all those considering making the life-altering decision to divorce. Pease Gadoua offers profound personal insight and practical guidance that empowers adults to find clarity, overcome hurdles, and make the best choices for the future of their relationships. I wholeheartedly recommend Contemplating Divorce to men and women alike. -Helene Taylor, Esq., president and founder of TheModernWomansDivorceGuide.com
A must read for anyone who wants to work on their marriage.
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 15 years ago
This book is fantastic, and was instrumental in parting the clouds for me during one of the most difficult times of my life - determining whether my marriage was salvagable or not. The exercises in this book are very helpful in assessing the work that needs to be done on a marriage, and in determining whether that work can be done by the two of you or not. I highly recommend this book whether you are contemplating divorce or not - in my case, I was contemplating it, and some of the exercises in this book made it crystal clear to me which path was the right one for me. I can't begin to express how thankful I am to have run across this book, and highly recommend it to anyone facing even the smallest difficulties in their marriage - it can help you see how to approach fixing things if you choose to, or deciding that it is time to end things if you choose to.
OUTSTANDING book
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 16 years ago
This book offers the reader a wealth of information about the difficult, limbo space between an unhappy marriage and making the decision to stay or leave. I especially appreciated Susan's applications of the theories of phases of contemplation and Maslow's hierarchy of needs to help the reader gain clarity about his or her own process. The exercises are helpful and worthwhile to do. This is a very practical volume that gave me much to reflect on. I recommend it highly for both therapists and the general public. Dorie Rosenberg, L.M.F.T. San Rafael, CA.
Marriage & Family Therapist review
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 16 years ago
After reading many books on the subject, I found the material in 'Contemplating Divorce' to be thought-provoking and original, particularly about the cyclic nature of denial and grief. The author outlines clear stages of the process and direction on the most difficult decision: how to know when to keep trying at a marriage and when to let go. Although "Divorce" is in the title, the book has a wealth of wise counsel on doing what's possible to mend a relationship and an expanded definition of 'failure' and 'success.' I recommended this book and the writing exercises at the end of each chapter to many clients. The author has a refreshingly balanced perspective that provides readers with a clear light.
Extremely insightful; great questions & workbook exercises
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 16 years ago
I bought this book for a friend, and ended up previewing it myself to make sure it was worth passing on; it definitely is. Having gone through a split 5 years ago (not of my choosing, but ultimately of my relief), I was able to look at this book through the lens of hindsight. I think it is an excellent guide, and I've recommended it to a therapist friend of mine, and she agrees. The most important aspect of the book is that there is no right or wrong answer for any/every reader, of course. Every relationship is different, and anyone reading this book will have the opportunity to consider the thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter to see if the marriage can be saved, or if too much damage has been done. Especially if the question of therapy or counseling is currently not an option for you, this book provides a most excellent and inexpensive substitute first step in the process of considering what to do next. Highly recommended.
Excellent reading for making life changing decision
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 16 years ago
Contemplating Divorce is an excellent read for those looking to make the life changing decision to divorce. It has a break down of all the steps needed to make the decision and guides the reader with how to approach every step. This book is very well written and the real stories cover a wide range of marital situations. Personally, I can't wait for Ms. Pease Gadoua's next book!! Nancy Thomas Tampa, FL
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