For Mothers of Difficult Daughters; How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship in Adulthood
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Book Overview
Many mothers blame themselves for their faltering and failed relationships with their grown daughters. And even more mothers believe that their strained relations are irreparable, and that friendship -- or even civility -- with their female offspring is impossible. Family therapist and clinical psychologist Dr. Charney Herst tells us it isn't so. In this important and empowering book, which has been featured on Oprah and Good Morning America and has sparked print coverage on the mother/daughter dynamic in papers like the los Angeles Times and The New York Daily News, Dr. Charney Herst teaches mothers to better understand their daughters and to recognize their strengths and weaknesses.
According to Dr. Herst, there are three kinds of difficult daughters. The Dependent Daughter is the one who won't leave the nest, who continually expects mom to pay for everything, the one who seems incapable of running her own life. The Dissatisfied Daughter is the chronically unhappy one who is independent but treats her mother as a dumping ground for grievances large and small. The Distant Daughter is the most heartbreaking of all, for these women have withdrawn, gradually or dramatically -- and sometimes completely -- from their mothers.
This book helps mothers untangle the web of personal history and intense emotion, and take the lead in repairing this all-important bond. It offers hope, not criticism.
Format:Paperback
Language:English
ISBN:0375753184
ISBN13:9780375753183
Release Date:February 1999
Publisher:Random House Publishing Group
Length:320 Pages
Weight:0.76 lbs.
Dimensions:0.8" x 6.2" x 8.6"
Customer Reviews
4 ratings
For Mothers of Difficult Daughters...A great read!!!
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 19 years ago
This book was very helpful in many ways. I thought it was very up to date with today's parent and adult child thought patterns and reads very nicely. It offered various alternatives to reconnect with your adult daughter whether she lives with you or has been out of your life for years. It offered various strategies for many types of situations that sounded reasonable and workable for both parties. It also helped solidify several areas I was already working on; some of those areas were to stop asking questions, stop offering unsolicited advice, and get involved in your own life. Overall, I found it very helpful and highly recommend it.
Reading this book repaired our relationship
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 24 years ago
How could I explain one child that was easy to get along with and another child that was not? They were raised the same way. I made parenting mistakes, but there weren't severe. Our home was loving, our marriage healthy, the children loved. Why was it so hard? This book offers solace to mother's who feel lost and terribly saddened by their difficult relationship with their daughter. It also offers excellent tips for improving your relationship with your daughter, without blaming either party. In my case, it was as simple as learning to hold back on offering advice and learning how to make sympathetic noises instead. Within just a few months, her screaming outbursts had stopped and I was no longer being wounded. One and a half years later, my daughter calls me her best friend. I learned how we all have a "perfect" daughter imagined in our mind and we must let go of those images and learn to love who our daughter is. It sounds simple, but it is not. People are born with different personalities and some people are naturally prickly and irritable. I appreciate the author who helped me see this and helped me see that I did not fail the daughter I love so much.
Terrific! It helped me!
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 25 years ago
As a mother of a very difficult eighteen year old daughter, I found this book to be direct, honest and very helpful. I felt very alone and upon ready I realized that I was not alone at all. The upset and pain was easier to handle just knowing that other Mother's had been through similar situations. I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who has a daughter.
Enjoyed the book greatly
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 26 years ago
For Mothers of Difficult Daughters is especially touching to me for a number of reasons. First, it offers practical analysis on types of mother/daugher relationships that are difficult. Second, it provides guidelines. How should mothers and daughters should act toward one another when their relationship is strained? Thirdly, Dr. Charney Herst is my Aunt and makes reference to experiences and a town in Maine that are near and dear to my heart. I'm proud of her work and found the book non-technical, informative, energetic, to the point, with worthwhile guidance. Whether your relationship with Mom or Mom's relationship with you is wonderful or strained, "For Mothers Of Difficult Daughters" is well worth reading.
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