Gay and Single ... Forever?: 10 Things Every Gay Guy Looking for Love (and Not Finding It) Needs to Know

This book gave me a new perspective on life. Being gay and single most of my adult life I felt a sense of guilt when not in a relationship. Bereznai analyzes some of the reasons why westernized culture puts pressure on everyone, including gay men, to be a couple. His writing is both funny, intelligent and inspiring. I highly recommend this book to any gay man that is having guilt over not being in a relationship.

When I first started reading 'Gay and Single....Forever?' I wanted others to read it. I then thought that my coupled friends wouldn't understand it so why tell them about it. When I finished it I wanted to give a copy to all my friends that are in a string of never ending long term relationships and say, "you want to know what it is like being me? - read this book!" Steven Bereznai touched upon so many things that you don't talk about with your coupled friends so you think that you are the only one experiencing them. He has so many of the same memories and experiences that I myself have had, it was uncanny at times. I have read other books about Cultures of Desire and Male Couple guides, and many had some interesting points, but I related to this book from start to finish. It was very hard to put down. As I began reading, I found there were many things I wanted to highlight, as I do when I am reading a book or article for work, but I felt that it would be absurd to use a yellow highlighter on a book I was reading for pleasure. I decided to just turn down the corner edge on a page where I read a phrase of interest. By the end, I had marked so many pages, because there was a phrase or paragraph that hit home, that half the corners of the book are now turned down. There should be discussion groups set-up to discuss this book and I'd be the first to sign-up. What a great read!

This book is one of the most thorough works of the existing literature around on gay men and relationships. The author has done an excellent job researching romantic love and the love lives of gay men and why so many are still single. Without pathologizing single gay men or the gay male community he presents a balanced and objective viewpoint of why so many gay men stay single. Hopefully this will end any shame single gay men might feel and take on all the blame!

I can definitely say this book has changed my life. Author Steven Bereznai speaks with such honesty, without the sacharine coating of self-help books, that I felt I was dealing with someone who understood the emotional turmoil of singlehood, and gay culture itself. There is poignant humor when talking about his mother (very Margaret Cho), easy to understand science when discussing the evolution of homosexuality and homosociability, and borderline spirituality when revealing how some one night stands have dramatically altered the course of his life.

This book will genuinely help single gay men find surer footing in their day-to-day lives, and help them broaden their sense of self-worth in a culture that all but abhors single people of every stripe, but particularly has no use for single gay people. Bereznai takes us through the paces of gay singlehood from every imaginable angle, and courageously puts his own story on the line with considerable grace and wit. The book is as polished as an emerald. I'm buying copies for several single gay friends immediately. I was single myself for the first time in my adult (gay) life over the last year, and was deeply surprised to find much illumination and even joy in being alone. I'm in a relationship again now, but this book would have guided me through more than a few initial rough patches when my last relationship ended. In short, this book is NECESSARY!