Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One

I lost my son to suicide in 1998. He was 26 years old and suffered from Bipolar Disorder. He lived with this disorder from the time of it's manifestation from the age of 8 until finally diagnosed at the age of 25. After his death I struggled with so many feelings that are unique to those left behind by a suicide death. I found in this book that I was not alone in my thoughts and feelings. It helped me reconcile my feelings of guilt and shame and lead me to forgiveness. I have passed this book on to several others in hopes that it will provide the same avenue of healing that it has for me.

I bought this book nearly four years after my brother took his own life. I wish I'd bought this sooner. The authors did a great job conveying how many of us feel after such a tragedy. This book covers every emotional aspect of suicide survivors and includes a listing of Suicide Prevention and Crisis Centers by state and city.Chapter 3, which covers guilt, was especially helpful because it covers all the what-ifs and should-haves. It explains how that emotion can destroy your health and family, and that there was really nothing you could've done to prevent this from happening. Suicide does not stem from one particular argument or pitfall in a person's life; it is a culmination of things.Chapter 5 is about ambivalence, which covers anger as well as putting the deceased on a pedestal. Another aspect was relief. Those cases I found heartbreaking because of the problems the person put his family through before they died.Chapter 6 talks about the normal depression after the loss versus clinical depression, the latter which many suicides suffer before they die.Chapters 8 through 11 cover the different relationships between the suicide victim and the survivors. I wish they had included a chapter on the friends that were left behind because this doesn't just affect the family. The last chapter covers the siblings, most of which didn't pertain to me. But I did learn from it.The last two chapters of the book cover the pitfalls and healing. This was what I was looking for. In all, this is a good book to read. It is written well and has a straight-forward, honest approach. I read this in two days and plan to pass it on to my family.

In the wake of my husbands recent suicide, I have been filled with guilt and regret. This book has belped me to realize that it was not my fault that he chose to end his life. The most helpful for me was chapter 3. It is Guilt: "We should have...We could have...". I have visited this place many times in the month since his suicide. The book hepled me to also realize that there was nothing more I could have done to prevent this tragedy. No one but the actual victim of suicide is at fault. I recommend this book to all survivors left behind as the result of a suicide. It has helped me to put things into perspective and has given me the tools to get through my grieving process and the hope to one day live a full and happy life again.

After my husband's suicide, other than God and my friends, the only solace I could find was in better educating myself about suicide in order to resolve my grief. This book is so wonderful and now, rather than sending flowers to someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, I send a copy of this book.

The authors of the book do an excellent job in describing the different emotions a survivor of suicide is forced to cope with. Having lost a loved one to suicide, I appreciated the authors' use of personal accounts and analyses and it helped me understand the pain, guilt, and anger I was experiencing. It also helped me to see that I will eventually heal; that even when the grieving ends, the love I have for the person won't; and that the process of healing will run its course differently for each person. It is excellently written, it reads fast, and it is a great companion to have around while one is going through this horrible time of loss. I recommend it to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide, whether it was a parent, child, spouse, friend, or lover.