Help--My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this book. Dr. Swanson has not only allowed me to see things through a different lense, but he has made me feel normal! I love my kids, I want to do all I can for them, but sometimes, I just don't know how. Keeping my cool can be hard when the kids are invested in getting what they want. With this book, I now feel that I have a guide to refer to that will help me remember, I am a good mom, my kids are just being kids and that there are concrete steps to take to move us past the momentary meltdowns. Thank you.

Dr. Swanson has created a powerful and insightful reference guide for parents looking to put an end to parent/child conflict once and for all. This book is based upon the 17 ways children manipulate their parents as well as what parents can do about it. Dr. Swanson refers to these manipulation strategies as the "Tools of Power." In the beginning of the book, a quick reference list of all 17 Tools of Power is offered so that parents can quickly turn to the appropriate chapter and get the answers they need - FAST! As a parent, I can say that the strategies Dr. Swanson offers are simple to understand, easily implemented and effective. In the second half of this book, Dr. Swanson goes even further as he offers "proactive" interventions which are designed to greatly reduce problematic behaviors in the future. He does this by offering the reader a new model which he developed in order to assess a child's temperament. This temperament is an essential piece of information, he notes, as it allows for parents to create a home structure, specifically tailored to their child's needs (regardless of age). It is this new home structure that will greatly reduce problematic behaviors in the future. Dr. Swanson's advice is powerful and simple-to-understand. It is written in a relatable, straight-forward fashion that any parent will can appreciate. An example includes a section of the book in which he explains that parents possess three innate desires: 1. To keep their child 'safe,' 2. To look out for their child's 'better interest in the future,' 3. To 'ensure their child's happiness.' Dr. Swanson points out that most parent/child conflict is the result of the child's happiness being placed into conflict with their safety and/or better interest in the future. Dr. Swanson urges parents to keep their priorities straight - Always putting 'safety' first, 'better interest' second and 'happiness' last. He notes that children are driven to find happiness. And, he states, that by keeping these priorities straight, parents will feel fulfilled in their role as a responsible, effective parent. This book has helped us to feel much more closer as a family. Because of the renewed understanding and appreciation we now have for our children, we spend less time fighting and more time connecting. I urge you to pick this book up as I believe it can do the same for you and your family!