Hot Buttons: How to Resolve Conflict and Cool Everyone Down

HOT BUTTONS is a pracrical guide for transforming the impact of negative emotional overload into positive behavioral and cognitive forces. The application of the techniques described in this book may be applied to a great number of situations regardless of wheather they occur in industry, within the family, at school or in traffic. The authors provide the reader/practioner with a variety of emotionally overloaded situation for analysis and techiques for resolving them. The techniques described are consistent with many theories about human behavior. The authors, Evans and Cohen,appear to base their approach to resolving conflict by "translating...words in a fresher way that gives the dialogue a new direction." To acquire this goal requires each to engage in the PROCESS OF LISTENING and respond in such a way as to convey that each has actually attempted to understand the other. I reccommend this volume to both the individual and the organization interested in improving productivity and personal balance through improving communication in human relationships.

This review is from the Seattle reader - I gave the review 5 stars and for some reason it appeared as 1 star-- PLEASE CORRECT-THIS IS AN OUTSTANDING BOOK AND IT PROVIDES EXCELLENT HELP IN SOLVING EVERY DAY CONFLICT ISSUES. THANK YOU. THE SEATTLE WRITER.

Relationships with people we know and those we do not are becoming harder and harder to manage, as the pace and pressures of daily life increase. More and more often, something happens that enrages the people involved. This rage may come from a taxi driver, another driver, someone sitting next to you in a movie, a person standing in line, or a member of your family (blood relative or in-law). Often, you don't expect the rage. Suddenly, Vesuvius goes off (either in you, or in the other person). What do you do now? Where do you go from there?In other situations, someone does something that causes you extreme annoyance, causing you to blow up. What should you do next? How can you avoid that happening routinely?'This book is not meant to solve the cosmic problems, but it can teach you how to turn off the triggers to boiling points.' I found this book to be a very useful set of tactical tools for dealing with yourself and others to supplement the excellent concepts of self-improvement in Relationship Rescue. If you liked that book, you will like this one also.'If someone misunderstands, insults, ignores, or irritates us, we feel hot surges of anger in varying degrees.' 'When someone pushes one of your hot buttons, it makes you a little crazy . . . You explode.' 'There's explosive anger and contemptuous anger, revengeful anger and embarrassed anger, repressed anger and expressed anger -- and they all look different.' Where do hot buttons come from? 'Hot buttons are born from our earliest experiences in dealing with conflict.'What's the answer? 'Attitude is a choice.'Here's how the book is organized:Chapter 1 -- What's a Hot Button?Chapter 2 -- Hot Buttons Everywhere!Chapter 3 -- How Buttons: Hazardous to Your Health!Chapter 4 -- What Pushes Your Buttons?Chapter 5 -- Hot Buttons and IntimacyChapter 6 -- Hot Buttons and the FamilyChapter 7 -- Hot Buttons and ChildrenChapter 8 -- Hot Buttons and FriendshipChapter 9 -- Hot Buttons and the WorkplaceChapter 10 -- The Magic of Your MindResourcesMany of the chapters contain quizzes to help you self-assess your tendencies. Almost all of the chapters contain case histories of conflicts that often arise, and use a five-step process to resolve these conflicts. Some of the chapters contain information about annoying public situations and suggest scripts and actions to handle them firmly and politely. Chapter 10 gives you ideas for expanding your ability to choose your reaction, such as various types of meditation, thought switching, breathing exercises, taking physical action, changing your activity or focus, and keeping a journal to study your reactions. The Resources section points you to other books that can help. The book's core concept is to develop cooperative collaborations that generate win-win solutions that everyone wants to implement. These are built from a five-step process:(1) Watch what's going on like you are part of an audience to a play so you experince 'detachment and objec

I was surprised by how useful the book is. Somehow I didn't expect anything new but I have to admit the author uses many realistic examples. So many of the stories sounded familiar and I would find myself thinking, "There's no way to solve this." But then, somehow the author provided a solution that I believe could really work to diffuse my anger and the anger of others.The book is well worth a read for the stress reducing potential alone. There are also some useful tools anyone can carry away from a quick read.

I consider myself a nice person but why does everyone get so angry all the time????I feel so frustrated when my boss, my family--even strangers at the bank attack verbally. This book is reasonable, intelligent and so easy to follow. I swear--I've already done 2 or 3 of the authors' exercises, and I'm the most popular person on the planet. This is a great book--a book that is much more than a self-help book: it's changed my life already. Also, it's funny. I rate it high, high and expect to give it for Xmas presents---who doesn't have these problems in today's raging society?