I remember one of the first times our younger daughter Amber vented her anger at me for something I did. In reality, it was something I didn't do that made her mad. She had asked me to help her with a paper she was writing for a middle school class. The paper required a lot of research, and Amber didn't know how to go about doing the research."There's nothing to it," I assured her flippantly. Then instead of showing her what she needed to do, I simply told her to get started, explaining that she would figure out how to do the research as she went along.She let out an exasperated sigh. "But Dad, I don't know how to--""Amber, just get started," I insisted with authority, "and you'll figure it out." Then I left the room.(from the introduction)When the author understood his mistake, he was able to go and talk with his daughter. As she vented, he began to understand what a capacity parents have to make their kids angry, and how he could change his approach to communicating with his children to improve their relationship. In the years since Roger Cross has been studying the things parents do that make kids angry, such asplaying favoriteshaving loose or confusing boundariesexpecting kids to fill adult rolesand more.Drawing on his ministry of Youth for Christ along with a survey of one hundred students of varied ages and backgrounds, Roger Cross has created a practical, helpful book for parents who want to understand why their kids are so angry and what they need to do to change.
Punishment can often be administered in anger, while discipline is more controlled and measured.
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 16 years ago
Written by father of three Roger Cross, who served thirty-eight years of ministry to tens of thousands of kids through Youth for Christ, How We Make Our Kids Angry: Suggestions for Parents Who Want to Change is a parenting guide about respecting children while simultaneously providing them with the boundaries they need. Though addressed to Christian parents, How We Make Our Kids Angry is about principles of good parenting universal to all faiths. Chapters discuss the perils of expecting kids to fill adult roles, unjustly pressuring a child to fulfill one's own fantasies, playing favorites, and other behaviors that may not be unconsciously done but are none the less harmful. "Consider and Respond" questions at the end of each chapter round out this thoughtful parenting book grounded in practical wisdom. "Understand the difference between discipline and punishment. The difference has to do with motives. The motive of punishment is to make sure the child experiences pain for stepping over the line. Discipline, while it usually involves some kind of pain (a swat, being grounded, privileges withheld, etc.) is motivated by correcting and improving behavior. Punishment can often be administered in anger, while discipline is more controlled and measured."
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