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Hardcover Is It You or Is It Me?: How We Turn Our Emotions Inside Out and Blame Each Other Book

ISBN: 0060187433

ISBN13: 9780060187439

Is It You or Is It Me?: How We Turn Our Emotions Inside Out and Blame Each Other

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Format: Hardcover

Condition: Very Good

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Book Overview

In this provocative new look at romantic relationships, psychologist Scott Wetzler explores the widespread phenomenon of misplaced anger that seems to define couple dynamics in the 1990s. He finds a wary, secretive, and combative atmosphere clouding relationships. Partners are feeling hurt and bruised by the very people with whom they are most vulnerable. In desperation and puzzlement, they are asking, "Who's at fault here? Is It You or Is It Me? "What seems to be driving this "inside-out" dynamic, says Dr. Wetzler, is our increasing inability to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings that intimacy arouses--anger, anxiety, frustration, disappointment, or self-doubt. We have become utterly cynical about love and find it easier to hold our partners responsible for our psychological frailties than to own up to and work through the confusing emotions that inevitably accompany falling and being in love. In Is It You or Is It Me? Dr. Wetzler and Diane Cole explain that the key to better relationships is the ability to look inward rather than outward to understand why we feel the way we do. We need to acknowledge our own insecurities if we are ever to distinguish when blame really does exist "out there" and when responsibility resides within. Written in a strong narrative style with illuminating case examples throughout, here is a book of relationship advice for grownups. Reading it will give couples the tools they need to sort through confusion, let go of anger, tolerate feelings of vulnerability, and learn to forgive. Only by truly understanding the ways in which we contribute to the problems in our relationships can we become the true masters of our fate and nurture the love we seek.

Customer Reviews

2 ratings

it's outstanding

I considered sending the authors a check, since this book has already been worth a half-dozen therapy sessions, and I'm not even finished. It's written clearly & intelligently. If everybody read this book with the loving care with which it's written, I think the world would be a saner place.

Concrete information for troubled relationships!

This is one of the best books I have ever read on what is really happening within a relationship between two people. This book gets to the point on how individual's think and how that thinking causes confusion and relationship problems. Many books like this are nice to read and then you close the book and that's it. This one is different. I would recommend this to those who have a pattern of relationship problems or those who know there is a problem in your current relationship, but just can't figure out what the problem is! My fiance is reading this and we're learning a lot about each other! This one is so interesting and easy to read, I couldn't put it down until I was finished. A keeper!
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