Is It You or is It Me?: Why Couples Play the Blame Game
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Book Overview
In this provocative new look at romantic relationships, psychologist Scott Wetzler explores the widespread phenomenon of misplaced anger that seems to define couple dynamics in the 1990s. He finds a wary, secretive, and combative atmosphere clouding relationships. Partners are feeling hurt and bruised by the very people with whom they are most vulnerable. In desperation and puzzlement, they are asking, Who's at fault here? Is it you or is it me?
What seems to be driving this inside-out dynamic, says Dr. Wetzler, is our increasing inability to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings that intimacy arouses--anger, anxiety, frustration, disappointment, or self-doubt. We have become utterly cynical about love and find it easier to hold our partners responsible for our psychological frailties than to own up to and work through the confusing emotions that inevitably accompany falling and being in love.
Written in a strong narrative style with illuminating case examples throughout, here is a book of relationship advice for grownups.
Format:Paperback
Language:English
ISBN:0060930292
ISBN13:9780060930295
Release Date:June 1999
Publisher:PerfectBound
Length:272 Pages
Weight:0.55 lbs.
Dimensions:0.7" x 5.1" x 8.4"
Customer Reviews
2 ratings
Excellent, life changing
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 17 years ago
I bought this book about 5 years ago. It has been one of the most life changing books I have ever read. Like the other reviewer said, you finally see how you contribute to the issues, and it isn't always the other person in the relationship with the problem. This gives you some great tools on how to talk with another person as to not initiate their defense mechanism, and instead on how to discuss issues calmly, and in a respectful way. I will be re-reading this book soon.....it is a great tool.
What? Its me?
Published by Thriftbooks.com User , 25 years ago
Its hard to accept responsibility for all my arguments. This book will change the way you fight with a loved one, argue with others in the world and you will never view any communication with another person the same as you did before. A must read. From the beginning of the book you will continuously think its not me, its them, but Dr. Wetzler keeps beating you over the head until you know you have to accept at least some of the responsibility. And once you step over that line, the light bulb comes on. Read it twice: the second time you won't be looking for what the other guy did wrong. This book will change your life. Thank you Dr. Wetzler.
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