Between 1994 and 1997, George Davis interviewed more than 200 people with a simple purpose in mind: find out how they felt about sex and love, not in the abstract, but as they are really experienced by a broad cross-section of African Americans. This fascinating survey of emotional lives and love affairs uncovers a surprising and powerful collection of cultural and racial factors that make up love today.
I found Love Lessons to be one of those "I've got to finish this in one sitting" sort of books. It was both fascinating and disturbing. Despite the title, very few of the people interviewed in the book seemed to have learned any lessons. The lessons they learned, if any, were negative ones.What is love? That basic question remains unanswered in the book, but we do see what a handful of African-Americans have done in the name of love. My heart went out to the young mother in one tale whose total selflessness allowed her to be exploited and ultimately end up pregnant, homeless, and sleeping on a park bench.On the flip side, I was annoyed by the tale of the wealthy young woman who openly gloated about how she "loved" the famous artist whom she was having an open relationship with, while she exploited another man who genuinely cared for her and was furthering her career. That's love? How long before she crashes and burns?Also disturbing was the tale of the wealthy man who didn't want to divorce the wife he never loved in the first place because he didn't want to possibly lose his house. So, he and his wife live in separate suites, use separate entrances, and get on each other's nerves when they ocassionally cross paths. Get a divorce already!In summary, I recommend Love Lessons to anyone curious about the state of black love. It would be interesting to find a similar book centering around how people of the majority culture describe love and contrast the two.Although I believe most African-Americans will find someone in the book who reminds them of themselves or someone they know (I have to praise the author for finding such a good cross section of people), I would caution people from outside of the culture not to draw any sweeping conclusions about African-Americans and how we love and treat each other based on this book. There are many more stories to be told.
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