Midlife Themes: A Self Study

Midlife can be a serious struggle. There's no good way around it. But if you know what I'm talking about then you also should believe that it all happens for a reason. Something within us tries to force upon us a quest for wholeness. It seems not to give a whit for what has already happened or what double binds we may find ourselves in at this stage of life. It is a last chance to get some things right before the inevitable loss of mental acuity, the loss of teeth, of eyesight, of hair, of libido. You name it; it's all going to go. I love the theme that we are called by cosmic forces to increase the quality of our suffering. Of course, that must be the purpose of it all, surely. Does it seem unfair? Of course. Is it hurtful? Yes! Is it redemptive? I hope so. But I do not think it is the simple Christian redemption; we seem to have worn that path thin, as if God were so simple that straightaway we could go and "sin no more" and be whole. Rather, inside, I believe, is a personal way forward that is being revealed in frustratingly slow and obscure symbolic fashion every night in our dreams, if we can learn to get out of the way. Our tendency is to want to talk too much and listen too little to our dreams. My mantra here is to stay on task! Let the dreams speak! Paint the images and shut up already! The frustrating thing about midlife -about trying to pull out of the personal unconscious matrix- is that though similar to another's issues, our own issues are unique and defy generic solution. We must learn from those that paint with a broad brush and then get out our own little brush and do our own work.My healing "themes" spring from a sometimes disturbing three year dream series. When jotted down, digested, painted and combined with readings from expert refer-ences, they form the coherent backbone of a personalized way forward.