Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges

I normally do not write reviews... I can’t recommend this book enough. It was the first book I read where somebody “gets it”. I’ve gone through a lot with my loved one (who is sadly trying to cope with extreme trauma) and it not only validated that we weren’t abnormal but also how to cope.

In this very readable book, Harvey and Penzo give many practical suggestions for parents who are dealing with a child who has frequent intense emotional outbursts. They point out that a child's angry, explosive behaviors are the way he has learned to manage his feelings, and that he needs to be taught new skills. Expecting a child to know how to behave in all situations is unrealistic. He must be taught until he can use skills in all situations. Just as the child needs new skills, this book teaches new skills to parents to help them more effectively help a child manage his emotions. The goal of the book is to help parents think and respond "wisely", incorporating both feelings and logic, when responding to the child's behavior. The authors recommend that parents remind themselves that their child "is doing the best he can," and that they balance "acceptance of your child in the moment with expecting and helping him to do things better in the future." At the same time, they remind parents that "you are doing the best you can and that you can do better." As a parent of a child with intense emotions, and an elementary teacher, I highly recommend this book for parents, families, educators, and other professionals. The practical strategies are useful for our work with all children to make them (and us) happier and more effective.

I am the parent of five children. Four of them are able to manage their emotions and social interactions appropriately. This book has been extremely beneficial for me to more effectively parent my fifth child who struggles with intense anger and mood swings and who has difficulty maintaining friendships and making safe and healthy decisions. The parenting techniques I use for my other children don't work for this child. This book helps parents recognize when their child is in emotional distress; it teaches you how to help your child manage these overwhelming emotions and how to respond differently to behaviors you want to decrease. Other aspects of this book that I appreciate and recommend to other parents are the chapters on taking care of yourself and on how one child's emotional disregulation impacts the whole family. I have post-its throughout the book, and you will too!

I am a mom of a 10 year old with mood disorder NOS. This book has helped me regain control in my life. Each chapter will help you understand your child and teach you to change the way you respond to emotional situations. Validating your child, using wise mind, taking time for yourself are ways DBT can make a difference. Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions is a must read. It will reduce stress and change your life-it has changed mine!

I read as many books on this topic as I can. This book will change the way that your family experiences and copes with intense emotions. I have had the opportunity to use the book in the the Parent Support Groups I facilitate (Parenting Children with Emotion Regulation Difficulties, ... with Asperger Syndrome, ... with Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, ... with Bipolar Disorder. Each parent has expressed his or her comfort with the book's blend of theory and example and have learned about their own thoughts and feelings through completing the activities. In addition, I have sent copies to friends that have struggled to understand and handle their children's emotional outbursts effectively. I cannot recemmend a book on this toipic any more highly, as a professional or a parent.

Harvey and Penzo gave us a quintessential bible of principles and techniques that dramatically changed how we interacted as a family. It is a MUST READ in order to help you and your child be more effective.