Summary & Analysis of A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin (Game of Thrones Summary & Analysis)

This book is an unauthorized summary and literary criticism of the plot and characters of George R.R. Martin's novel "A Clash of Kings", with a detailed chapter by chapter analysis. It is written humorously, but covers a lot of serious topics. It is written in an accessible way--I don't inundate you with hundreds of character names, I focus on the essential ones.A sampling of the questions which will be addressed:Why did the Hound say it was bad luck to kill someone on their birthday?How easy is it to murder someone by getting them drunk during boar hunting?Why did Stannis switch gods?Why doesn't Stannis cut off Salladhor Saan's fingers?How does the raven post office system work?Why doesn't Tyrion have Littlefinger arrested for falsely accusing him of murder?Why does the Hound like being called the Hound?Why is urinating called "making water"?Are Craster's babies free range or cage raised before being fed to zombie diners?What does it mean when Craster's wife "licks her lips"?Why does Theon's sister Asha squeeze his cock repeatedly?Why did Renly offer Stannis a peach?Why does Jaime admit to Catelyn that he is Joffrey's father?Why would Cersei order her own execution?What did Dany learn from the warlocks of Qarth?How does Cersei try to kill Tyrion?Why did the Hound cry when Sansa sang him a lame girly song?