The Father You Get: And the Ones You Make, Believe In, and Become

In a world of imperfect-at-best and bad-at-worst dads, what is the ideal of fatherhood we aspire to? Why does this ideal exist?

What is it about fathers and father figures that looms so large in the lives of so many? In this intimate reflection and memoir, Patton Dodd confronts the chasm between the ideal father he longed for and the distant figure he received--an often-absent alcoholic who struggled to hold down a job and whose unreliability caused chaos for his family.

Dodd's struggle with the father he was given led him to other father figures throughout his life: from the imaginary "Papa Friend" of his childhood dreams to the male mentors he sought as he grew older. His spiritual father, the Christian God, often conceptualized as the heavenly Father, led Dodd to the steadfast, faithful love of his earthly mother. And when Dodd became a father himself, he was drawn back to the mysteries of his own dad. His story will resonate with readers grappling with their own dad-sized gaps and wounds: those who struggle with the fathers they got, the fathers they wish they had, the fathers they hope to be.

A lyrical, emotional meditation on the failures and glories of dadhood and manhood alike, The Father You Get is an extended wrestling with the mysteries of a distant parental figure. Dodd ultimately asks if there is any way to bridge the gap between the fathers we get and the fathers our hearts yearn for.