The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much?

This is an important book for woman from high school right up through their 50's to read. It opens your eyes to so many important topics and helps you think critically about your own situation. I am a very happily married woman that works fulltime, but I'm also looking forwrd to starting a family this year and plan to continue working. I have always *wanted* to continue working, so for me, Leslie's book was an affirmation, but I think it's an important read regardless of what you choose- knowledge helps you make informed decisions. At least if a woman decides to stay home, she'll be well-informed of the risks ahead of time.

As an highly educated 30-year-old woman with a decent career and a child due in June, I am actively seeking differing opinions and viewpoints regarding the work/family debate. This book has been invaluable to me. I think most of us are familiar with the arguments in favor of staying home with the kids. If not, you will need to look elsewhere for those. This book addresses the arguments in favor of keeping your career and your financial independence. Probably more inflammatory, it also rebuts the central tenets of the "my children need me at home" assertion. Bennetts' main line of reasoning is that supporting your husband in his career while you take care of things at home might work financially for right now. But what about the 50% divorce rate? What about layoffs? What about disability or death? We blithely assume that, especially with a good education to back us up, we can jump back into our careers whenever necessary. Bennetts raises the question: what if it's not as easy as you think? She raises other points to ponder, as well. What will happen to social progress if we take a graceful exit from the workforce? Employers might think they no longer have to put up with female employees who have kids at home. Moreover, graduate schools might cut back on admission of women if they realize (as they already do) that women are earning degrees just to hang on their living room walls. What will we tell our daughters if their opportunities are reduced because we didn't want to put up with the demands of both work and family life? Overall, however, I found this to be a highly optimistic book. She's not saying, "Slog through it, you have to, you owe the women who paved your way." Instead, Bennetts talks at length about how rewarding it is to have a life full of everything you love--family and success. Lots of interviews with women from the generation before us show how we might have gotten the mistaken impression from our mothers that creating work/life balance is more struggle than it's worth. In fact, maybe they were just afraid to tell us how much fun they were having when we weren't around! If you are looking for a counterpoint to the admittedly enormous gravitational pull a new baby can exert in your life, you have found your book.

I am surprised by the low ratings. Ms. Bennett's book is a well-researched and thoughtful account of the potential pitfalls opting-out of the career track can have. I believe part of her motivation for writing the book stems from the heightened press that highly educated young mothers choosing to stay home have received of late. I do not think she is "out to get them" - to the contrary, she is offering some food for thought from our elders. The aspect of Ms. Bennett's book that I really appreciated were the success stories from women that balanced a career while raising children and, looking back, were happy they did so. Too often we pity working women raising families when, really, many are happy, well-adjusted mothers. I do not believe the author is criticizing women for staying at home to raise children as much as cautioning them as to the risks. Some of her advice is sound advice for all us - which is, keep on top of your financial picture, and don't leave it up to someone else to determine your financial future. I think women should look at this book as an empowering tool and not take it as some sort of judgment upon their family's decisions. It has become taboo to even question a woman's decision to stay home these days - but how are we supposed to get advice from both sides of the debate? I, for one, would like to make an informed decision when that time comes. Well done Leslie!

Until I read this book, I was considering quitting my successful career to stay home with my kids. NONE of my friends work. They are all highly educated and I, too, have been alarmed as they have dropped out of the workforce one by one. I have four high school friends who worked their way through college after their dads left their stay-at-home moms, who then struggled to find minimum wage jobs. My mother says quitting her full-time job is the biggest mistake she ever made. Yet there is such societal pressure right now to quit, even when it doesn't serve the best interests of the woman or, ultimately, her kids (especially her daughters). I feel this pressure every day. This book that quantifies the results of making a long-term decision to stay home with the kids...something I desperately need as I weigh my own choices. This is a book all moms should read, even those who ultimately choose to stay home. We all deserve the opportunity to make an informed decision.