The Girlfriends' Guide to Getting Your Groove Back: Loving Your Family Without Losing Your Mind

Vicki Iovine has become my girlfriend! My friend and I each bought this book and used it as our "bible" for becoming not just better mothers and wives but actual WOMEN again. I can't tell you enough how fabulous it feels to read a book that offers sensible advice in terms that real moms can relate to. Vicki (we now refer to her on a first-name basis) is a girlfriend any woman with children should have. She'll teach you how to bring back that certain something we all had before everyone started piece-by-piece taking it all away. Thanks, Vicki!!!

Everyone told me how great having kids would be. Personally, I think they were trying to lure me into the "mommy club" by not telling me the rest of the story. While having babies is exciting and defenitely one of life's undisputed miracles, there is an aspect of it that changes you forever. You have to give up a lot of selfish behavior (in that, I mean things that aren't in and of themselves selfish in nature, just things you normally do for yourself: i.e. taking a long, hot bath or having a bit of a lie down whenever you feel like it)and in the process, you lose a bit of yourself. Thank goodness Vicki Iovine and her gaggle of girlfriends have returned to tell me that I'm not alone! It's amazing: you think that passing a certain "stage" (i.e. teething, potty training)is a relief, but in the process, you begin to feel your purpose slip away as your kids grow more and more independent. You begin to think, now what? I've been raising my kids for X amount of years, and I've lost who I am. Wasn't I supposed to just slip right back into the fabulous career woman role with little to no turbulence?!? Vicki is right by our side to lend her shoulder and support, and to tell us (perhaps before we even realize it) that life keeps changing- you never pass a "stage" and get relative calm in your life. She uses the anaolgy of a leaky rowboat. You can either cry about the fact that you're up to your knees in water, or you can grab that bucket and bail the boat out, something you'll have to do again and again as eventually, the rowboat fills up again. Vicki helps us to see the humor in motherhood, and the unique role we play as women, but not in some drippy, "I found this book in the self help section" way. Every piece of advice is peppered with humor. Vicki explains how to focus at work when things at home are chaotic, that we should get over the romantic myth of "date nights", and how to turn to your experienced girlfriends for help through what she calls "mommy adolescence". A must for every mom.

Ms. Iovine has a great knack for hitting the nail of motherhood right on the head. This book is a real look at what most of us moms are going through- loving our family, but wondering when we will have time for ourselves, and why we are so suprised that everyone's needs are being met, but somehow, not our own. I felt this book not only spoke to my struggles at being a mom, wife, carpooler, volunteer and holding a job, but certainly made me feel as if I were not alone on this treadmill. The best advice she gives is to look forward, and that we will never be the single girls we once were, so it is time to create a new identity and take care of ourselves, so we can enjoy our lives NOW and in the future. Thank You for a great book!

This book is written for the Mommy who has finally put all the kids in school, and now wants to reclaim a part of her old self. Although I still have small ones at home, I found it reassuring that these "stages" parents go through with the kids don't last long, so we might as well enjoy them. At the same time, we need to remember that "we are the only ones who know how much soul-searching time we need to keep functioning as the locomotives that pull the family train." I think a Mother can never hear enough that the days are long but the years are short, and that taking care of yourself must be a priority if we're to make it all fly and stand a chance of enjoying our families and ourselves.

Vicki had me giggling through babyhood and terrific (haha) twos, but when the babies have stopped coming and it comes time for them and you to grow up, you're on your own. Until now. Vicki is refreshingly honest, sometimes a bit crudely so, but hey, she doesn't live in small-town America. She understands from experience how a mommy's body and soul have been hijacked for years by a bunch of adorable little fuzzballs (who may now be adolescents themselves and hormonal, while you may still be potty training the caboose!)and that, Hello! her dear husband may be ready to welcome her back to being his honey, and that she might actually be able to respond sans the multitude of interruptions. After all, as Vicki says, now they can get their own glass of water! It's time to get a part of our lives back under control, which we willingly gave away when we were needed so much, and now if we've done our jobs right and have helped our children to achieve some level of independence and self-sufficiency, Vicki kicks us in the (too big)tush and says "Lose it! Get your act together, no more excuses, it's your turn! You've done your time!" Thanks Vicki! I needed that.