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Hardcover The Husbands and Wives Club: A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group Book

ISBN: 1416585478

ISBN13: 9781416585473

The Husbands and Wives Club: A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group

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Format: Hardcover

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Book Overview

A PAGE-TURNING GLIMPSE INTO FIVE MARRIAGES AND THE FIGHT TO SAVE THEM For more than a year, journalist Laurie Abraham sat in with five troubled couples as they underwent the searing process of group marriage therapy. Published as The New York Times Magazine's cover story "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" the resulting article generated intense reader response and received the Award for Excellence in Journalism from the American Psychoanalytic Association. Though the article allowed Abraham to focus on only one couple, this book, which grew out of it and the reaction it inspired, tells the moving, fascinating story of all five. The couples: Can Leigh and Aaron find the intimacy their marriage lacks; will Bella and Joe resolve the imbalance of power that threatens to topple their marriage; are Sue Ellen and Mark as ideal as they seem; what happened to Rachael that Michael cannot acknowledge; and do Marie and Clem, with the help of therapist Judith Coch?, come back from the brink of divorce? With the dexterity of a novelist, Abraham recounts the travails, triumphs, and reversals that beset the five couples. They work with their therapist-and each other-to find out whether they can rediscover the satisfaction in marriage that they once had. At times wrenching, at times inspiring, the sessions bring out the long-hidden resentments, misunderstandings, unmet desires, and unspoken needs that bedevil any imperiled couple. At the same time, these encounters provide road maps to reconciliation and revival that can be used by anyone in a relationship. Along the way, the author draws on her explorations of literature and Freudian theory, modern science, and today's cutting-edge research to decode the patterns and habits that suggest whether a troubled marriage will survive or die. Both an important look at the state of marital dysfunction and a reaffirmation of the enduring bonds of love, The Husbands and Wives Club is an extraordinary year in the life of the American marriage.

Customer Reviews

5 ratings

Well-written book

I enjoyed this book because Abrahams is an engaging writer and the subject matter is quite interesting. What I couldn't stand was the people in the group therapy workshops. I felt sad for some of them--especially Marie, who as you will soon find, is apparently responsible for the fact that everyone else is constantly spinning their wheels going nowhere. Others I just wanted to smack. But what makes the book good and not just the dull tale of a bunch of self-absorbed people with money to burn on weekend-long therapy sessions is Abrahams' keen reporter's eye and descriptive writing. Recommended for those interested in psychology, primarily.

Fascinating and a great read

The book succeeds on many levels -- as a close critique of couples therapy (both theory and practice); as a study of gender roles in marriage; and as a pretty riveting narrative of several individual couples. Above all, Abraham brings fine-grained observations and clean prose to a subject that often suffers from jargon-heavy and turgid writing. Highly recommended, even for readers (like me) who generally avoid these sorts of books.

Fascinating Read

This is a terrific book and fascinating on multiple levels. For one, you're given a fly on the wall view of five other peoples' marriages, and who isn't interested in that? But much more than that, by capturing the particulars of how couples argue and resolve their differences, and by discussing the latest science on what works and doesn't work in therapy, Abraham gives the reader a real insight into his/her own marriage and how to improve it. The experience of reading the book is sometimes a sad one, but more often, for me, it was inspiring, pushing me to critically examine my own relationships in life and what I can do to improve them. Highly recommended reading!

Real Love

Laurie Abraham's book actually makes you THINK about your marriage and what it means to be close to someone, to love them, and to be their partner for a lifetime. So many other books about marriage give you prescriptions or list "10 Easy Tricks"--Abraham's book does not offer easy fixes, but that's what makes it so much more valuable. She follows five couples struggling with the normal things all married couples do--money, sex, power--and shows the bravery that goes into actually making your marriage work rather than escaping through divorce, cheating, or just being zoned out to life. I found the middle-aged couple who went from sexless and bitter to a new level of passion they'd never had before the most inspiring. It shows you that love, passion, and meaningful relationships are not just limited to young people in the first flush of a crush. I disagree with the reviews that say it had too much psychological theory. I enjoyed that part. The coupling of the theory with what was happening in the therapy group made me understand more clearly--and think more deeply about--what was going on. I thought Abraham did a good job of boiling down the messages of some of the the "big thinkers" on marriage--and also taking apart the quick-fix messages of some of the best-selling self help books. Her unmasking of John Gottman was particularly compelling. Generally, a very thoughtful look at marriage, love, life--and why it all matters!

Curious, Intelligent, and Humane

I loved this book. Abraham enters into the topic with curiosity and respect, and all of the participants are revealed in their complex vulnerabilities. The book is a fast, fascinating read, with lots of information about how couple's therapy can work (and work differently for different people). I was also extremely impressed by her thorough examination of the research -- particularly of John Gottman's work. I'd read so many positive things about it, but when Abraham looks closely at his methods, she reveals major flaws. That was a thrilling discovery. Thank you, Laurie Abraham, for your deep and engaging treatment of this topic.
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