When Mothers Work PB

We are still a couple of years away from starting our family, but already I felt the pressure to give up a career in investments that I love. I "want it all" (successful career, great kids), but could not figure out how to make it happen. This is the first book I've found that really convinced me that not only could it be done, but it has to be done! Very liberating to read -- shattering the myth of the perfect, sacrificial mother. It certainly won't be easy, but now I can stop sewing my SuperWoman outfit and really look forward to having kids!

The first two years of my daughter's life, I was thoroughly conflicted. Was she going to end up "damaged" because I worked? Was I a bad mother because I wanted to work? When I read this book, it was like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders! I am now buying this book for my sister who has the "guilt" also. I began to see what a positive roll model I was for my daughter - and now my newborn son. In fact,I am going back to work tomorrow. I am a little anxious - but no longer because of my guilt, just my added responsibility!

This book is about raising healthy children. This is not meant to be a political or controversial book. It deals with the real issues all parents face when confronted with wanting to raise your children and having to support your family. The author's theory is that fulfilled parents raise independant, self-reliant children. There are examples of families that use many different strategies to raise their children successfully, without guilt for the time they spend at work. The author talks about the satisfaction that BOTH parents get from caregiving. Unlike the family dynamic of the 1950's, if the mother is sufficiently supported in child rearing by the father, she can parent effectively herself without becoming burnt out. In addition, the children benefit from having 2 involved parents, rather than just 1 or 1 1/2, and the father gains from having a closer relationship with the children. At the same time the parents have the satisfaction of working and supporting their family together (or however it works best for that family). This book helped me quite a bit. I don't know how I will feel after my child is born and my maternity leave is over. My husband has always promised we would share all work in raising our family but I just couldn't give up the power of running the house. I didn't believe he could do the job as well as I would. This book explains that dads don't do things the same way as moms. They do them differently, and the kids benefit from both parenting styles. This book gave me the courage to trust him to do his very best, just as I know I will.

As a woman contemplating beginning a family, I've been concerned with the issue of how I will balance my desire to be a good parent while also still having a life. I wasn't looking for validation of a career choice so much as guidance for thinking about the issue on my own. To that end, I found this book to be extremely useful and stimulating for thought--Joan Peters shed light on attitudes and assumptions I have had without every questioning or examining their sources. I came to realize that many of them are not consistent with my values, and reading the book was the first step in changing them. I appreciate the book's sensitivity to the many concerns women have regarding motherhood and career, and the fact that it isn't just saying "buck up and put your kid in childcare, you have a right." That would not have served me. Instead, it focuses much more on gender issues and how we can adapt parenting to better include both the mother and father for the everyone's benefit. It also brings to light the way that some women use having children as a way to avoid identity conflicts of their own. She asks some tough questions with regard to this, which I think will help some women get to the heart of their real motives for motherhood. If you simultaneously feel that you weren't put on the earth solely to reproduce but also care deeply about doing right by your children, this book will assist you in striking a balance that will work.

No mother returns to work without some feeling of ambivalence. This book does a solid job of dispelling the myths of the benefits of the always available mother which society seems to call for and gives so many reasons why Mother's work outside the home is good for the whole family. I have read it over and over and find new jewels of wisdom each time. Ms. Peters speaks of the value of work with confidence and conviction while never losing her tenderness when voicing so beautifully the absolute joy which children bring to our lives.